Meditating in India

As I sat in meditation this morning the memory of my initiation to meditation made it's way into my awareness.

It was 2013 and I was in Rishikesh, India, the spiritual capital of the world.

It's where people go to do yoga, pray, drink chai, and swim in the Ganges- a massive sacred river along the Himalayas that is believed to purify the soul and wash away sins.

I was sitting among my classmates in 40 degree Celsius heat, in an elevated structure that was made of a metal roof and no walls.

Flies were making their way in and out of my ears, nostrils, and when I dared to speak- my mouth.

It's safe to say I was uncomfortable. In more ways than one.

Our teacher kept inviting us to close our eyes.

Even this first step was hard for me.

I kept fidgeting, itching…restless, I kept looking around and it seemed like I was the only one struggling to meditate.

Adding to my discomfort was the rage I would feel every time I tried to close my eyes.

Somehow, the 2 years of yoga I was practicing and teaching up to that point hadn't yet helped me feel capable to do this thing called meditation.

Suddenly, a parade of wild monkeys galloped across the metal ceiling in what felt like the sound you'd imagine hearing if you were struck by lighting.

I let out a big sigh and asked " how are we supposed to focus?"

The teacher smiled and said "And so is life."

I'm pretty sure I rolled my eyes.

I had no idea at the time what he was referring to, or what lesson I was supposed to take from this.

It took me years after that point, and several thousands of hours of practice to realize this:

The point of meditation is not to be in the perfect conditions with no distractions in order to focus.

The point of meditation is to be present within all the chaos and movement of life.

I think there's a common myth that meditation means not having any thoughts.

Maybe some people experience that, but I don't believe this is how meditation is serving most of us.

Meditation has taught me how to be more present inside of my body, and outside while I interface with life.

It has helped me notice the tiny pink flowers hiding behind a bush on my morning walk.

It has helped me really fully taste the flavors of the food in my mouth as I chew.

It has invited me to feel my breath while I'm having a conversation with another human being, and remember that we are both alive.

It has reminded me to look up at the sky when I find myself swiveling in my thoughts only to realize I'm consciousness witnessing itself.

It has helped me observe myself with curiosity and non-judgement when I'm having feelings, thinking thoughts, identifying with beliefs, or lost in the unconsciousness of judgement.

Meditation hasn't just been a chunk of time I dedicate in my day to drop in. Although that has acted as a necessary reminder and anchor point to remind me how present I'd like to be for my life, in the moments when I can't or don't have time to sit and close my eyes.

Meditation has been the spaciousness when clarity comes, creativity emerges, and feelings reveal themselves.

It has also been the beautiful reminder that even though I am having this human experience, I am also a soul, an eternal soul, living in this temporary human body.

It is a remembering.