An Intro to my Blog…and my Heart

I'm putting a lot of pressure on this first sentence.

And on this first blog post.

The first one you'll see when you arrive here, and decide if this is interesting to you or not.

What I really want to do here is speak to your heart.

To invite you to feel something. Anything.

Happy, sad, angry, seen, touched, less alone, more loved.

I want to share stories. My stories.

I want to be honest, vulnerable, true.

I want to relate, to connect and to hear how this impacts you.

Because even though I don't perceive myself as an eloquent writer who uses fancy words and complex writing structures, I know that what I feel is real, and I know the power of feelings.

I know what happens when we are moved, by words, by art, by emotion, by nature, by truth.

And I want to be in the truth with you.

Even when it's uncomfortable.

I've been on a long journey of arriving to a place where I can be honest with myself about how I feel.  

Where I don't have to hide because of shame or fear. Even though shame and fear are still present. I can still show up and be honest.

Because what else is there?

I want to know what is true, in every moment.

Not only what feels good or what is beautiful or acceptable.

I want truth.

Because that feels like aliveness. And we get the privilege of being alive, for…who knows how long?

If there's one thing I've learned about fear it's that it never really goes away.

Sometimes fear controls our choices (like me not writing for a long time because of my fear of being wrong, of being criticized, of being misunderstood, of being judged), and sometimes fear gets to be held with love so that it doesn’t take over. 

Am I still scared of being wrong, criticized, misunderstood, and judged? Absolutely.

But I'm doing this thing (writing, publicly), anyway.

I'm not here because I have all the answers. I'm here being human, and my beautiful little heart is saying "hey you, fellow beautiful heart, come play".

Because connection is at the heart of all my choices.

So as I type these words, I am connecting to myself, I am coming home to myself.

And as you read these words, you are connecting to me, and coming home (hopefully) more deeply to yourself.

So, here is my invitation, now and onwards: are you ready to feel with me?